I find most of the women I work with need to hear and appreciate hearing me say things like: 

“Looking after kids is already a full time job- then you do paid work as well? It’s a lot you are managing, no wonder you are tired/exhausted etc”

“Women’s work doesn’t tend to be recognised or acknowledged, so we feel we have to do more and more...but look at everything you are doing.....”

“As women, mothers and/or wives, we tend to look after all the details of the family life and schedule, often including our husband/partner’s details. There is so much detail to keep track of in today’s world! “

“It’s ok to take time out just for you- the family revolves around you being ok, so take time to take care of you! “

“Guilt is not helpful.”

“If you don’t take time for you, to nurture and really look after yourself....what are the consequences for you, and others?”

“Just like on aeroplanes, where you put the oxygen mask on yourself before your own children.....you have to take time for you, to be of real benefit to your loved ones. “

Y”ou deserve to have joy in your life- what brings you joy? “

And many more along those lines. 

We know it. We even often tell our friends and clients and others similar things. 

But we often don’t really do it ourselves. 

When we are feeling good, we take on more. Then when we go into overwhelm, crash with  a cold, or drop one of the many plates we are juggling....we feel guilty. But we were already at our edge, and it only took that one thing to push us over. Or we get slowly depleted from being constantly busy. 

We need to hear it over and over. It can be hard to really let it in. It’s ok to rest. It’s ok to relax. It’s ok not to have a full schedule. It’s ok to make time for what brings us joy. It’s ok not to be busy all the time. It’s ok to slow down. It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to be ok with enough income, instead of more and more. 

We are worthy. There is no question of worth, actually. But the genetic memory of being “less than” compared to men is very deep. It is changing. 

We need to build our resilience. We need time to digest our life, our past. We need spaciousness to expand into our full potential. A good diet, healthy joyful movement, a lowering of stress levels, plenty of self love. These build our resilience so when the big challenges come, we have some buffer. 

In fact, many of us are so used to dealing with big challenges that we sort of live in that adrenalin filled, switched on state most of the time...waiting on some level for the next big challenge.

Today, right now, what can you do to come back to yourself, to feel your own body, your gentle heart, your joy?